Water for Elephants Week 3, Post B

“I can’t find myself anymore. When did I stop being me?” (111). Jacob thinks of this quote when he is looking in the mirror at himself after Rosemary brings his breakfast into his room (110). When he looks in the mirror first of all, he says that he should be used to seeing what he looks like, but he just isn’t used to seeing the old man yet. I personally think that this is horribly depressing and I just started to cry when I read it. Can you even imagine that? Looking in a mirror, and seeing someone that you don’t recognize, even though it’s been you, for many years. That is horrible, just awful. As sad as it is, I can understand what he means. People obviously change as they grow older. In the second sentence of the quote, Jacob probably was thinking of a man that he knew as “himself” a long time ago, and he is just now realizing that he isn’t that man anymore. This would be like me saying, ‘Whatever happened to that cute little six-year old that wore dresses to school and was three feet tall?’ It just doesn’t make much sense to think like this, because you never will be the person you once were, and nothing can change that. Once you change, you’re changed and you can never go back. Once Jacob ran off to be in the circus, he was in the circus, and nothing and no one could stop him now. Because of how he changed (going to the circus), he will always be someone that was in the circus. Because he didn’t do any of his veterinarian’s essay at college, he can never go back to that college. So there are some ways that I understand what Jacob’s point, but in some ways it’s a pointless thing to say. Once you do something to change your future, you can’t go back to change your past.